We meet again, my old nemesis
I went down to the soda machine this afternoon to get a Diet Pepsi, and noticed that our snack machine now stocks Andy Capp's Hot Fries. Hot Fries, for those of you who have never encountered them, are a potato-chip like snack with some sort of chili-powder concoction sprayed onto them. They are essentially Dr. Atkins' worst nightmare: carbs and fat, rolled into little salty sticks of death with addictively tasty spices coating the outside. (Although, with Dr. Atkins' recent heart problems a lot of people are re-thinking the whole "bacon shrinks your ass" concept.)
Andy Capp and I spent a summer together when I was working concessions at Ebster Pool. The little blue bags of hot fries seemed like merely pleasant diversions at the time. Looking back on it, I realize now that Andy Capp was my sworn enemy, posing as a friend. He was taking my money and handing me back empty calories and burning lips. Damn you, Andy Capp! Just look at these things: "corn and potato snacks." They don't even have the decency to be one kind of starch or the other! They are the bastard children of Barbecue Fritos and French Fries, and they must be stopped.
Do you think I should nail my 95 snack theses to the front of the machine, or just scrawl "EVIL" in magic marker across its plexiglass window?
Andy Capp and I spent a summer together when I was working concessions at Ebster Pool. The little blue bags of hot fries seemed like merely pleasant diversions at the time. Looking back on it, I realize now that Andy Capp was my sworn enemy, posing as a friend. He was taking my money and handing me back empty calories and burning lips. Damn you, Andy Capp! Just look at these things: "corn and potato snacks." They don't even have the decency to be one kind of starch or the other! They are the bastard children of Barbecue Fritos and French Fries, and they must be stopped.
Do you think I should nail my 95 snack theses to the front of the machine, or just scrawl "EVIL" in magic marker across its plexiglass window?




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