Especially the one at 22nd Ave North and 34th Street. It is worthy of my undying enmity for a number of reasons:
• The location. It's on an intersection which makes pulling into the parking lot impossible.
• Said parking lot is always too full, especially given the fact that it also serves a Winn-Dixie, a Michael's craft store, and a Morrison's Cafeteria.
• The Morrison's Cafeteria next door to the Staples is inhabited solely by refugees from David Lynch films. Seriously, these are the scariest, most pathetic people in all of St. Petersburg, and in this town that's really saying something. On our visit today we saw a man taking carry-out from the Morrison's (which seemed odd in the first place). Not only was he wearing atrocious brown, square plastic-framed glasses, but his unwashed hair was about six inches too long for his face and he was wearing lime-green shorts with a purple muscle shirt. For the love of God, lime green shorts and a purple muscle shirt!
• Staples itself never has what I want, despite the fact that it is the most convenient office supply store near my house. Actually, there is an Office Depot right across the street, but it's sort of hidden behind a bank and a Daewoo car dealership. (Weird, I know.) I'm trying to train myself to drive to the OD, but I always find myself pulling into the damn Staples. Habit.
• The employees there are too surly for words.
Let's take today's visit, for example. Even though I swore off of Staples a few weeks ago, I was lured back by a coupon. Buy $150 worth of stuff, it said, and get $30 off your purchase. OK, I'll bite. I need TurboTax ($60 for the sole proprietorship version) anyway, plus some other tax supplies (binders, etc), and I've had my eye on a new USB flatbed scanner. My old one won't work with OS X – I have to reboot into the old operating system to use it. The Canon Canoscan D670U is down to $80, looks like a perfect fit. I especially like that it draws power from the USB port, so it doesn't need to plug into the wall.
So we show up. Got the TurboTax, fine. Got the binders and stuff, fine. Scanner? Where's the scanner? Display model, but no boxes. Christina wanders off to find a salesguy. Here's the conversation, reconstructed by me based on what she said and what I overheard.
Christina: Hi, about the scanners over there –
Salesguy (brusquely): What about them?
Christina : Uh, well, we're looking at a particular one, and we'd like to know if you have it in stock.
Salesjerk : I'll have to check. (They walk the ten yards over to where I'm standing) (impatient) Which one was it?
(We point.)
Salesjerk (annoyed at our frugality): Oh, those are sold out. I can order one online for you.
Us : No thanks.
Looking back at what I've typed it doesn't seem like he was all that rude, but he just oozed attitude. And what does that mean, he can order one online for us? We can do that! The only reason we went into the store was so we could get our stuff today.
So we walk out, stopping only long enough to buy the poster board and binders we want. TurboTax goes back, because I plan to buy the scanner from their web site (delivery on Monday) and I'll need the TurboTax to make up the difference to qualify for the coupon.
But hey, the scanner costs $99 on their web site! Amazon has it for $75. And now that I look at our checking account, maybe I should just hold off on the scanner for a week or two. Sure, I'll take the other coupon ($10 off a purchase of $40 or more) and buy TurboTax from the web site. Whoops, the smaller coupon is only good on in-store purchases. Grrrrrrr. I'm still debating whether it's worth the ten bucks to go back into that place.
Beans, beans, everywhere
The great bean bag experiment took place tonight. We came through mostly unscathed, although there is a slight sprinkling of styrofoam beads throughout the living room. Yes, we got pictures and video, and Scott was even helpful during the process. (I'll let that sink in for a second. Scott. Helpful Feels strange, doesn't it?) He heckled, of course, but I think he really enjoyed playing with all those little white specks of styrofoam. Many ended up on the floor, of course, but I'd estimate we only lost three or four percent of the original bean volume.
Audiovisual aids to follow.
Watching: The Gorgon , Unseen Evil , Invader Zim
Running mercilessly through my head: "Waterloo" by Abba
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